Now with things starting to go a bit decent in my life with school and starting to make new friends. I felt that it was time to start dating and see if I really did like dating guys here or if it was just something to seek attention since the opposite sex never found me attractive. Deep down I knew the truth but it never fully came out until I began to date Robb. Let me give you a bit of info on how I met Robb, what happened on our dates, and finally how we broke up.
I decided that in February 2002 that I would post up an ad on one of the many dating sites out there and try finding a guy to see what can happen. So I ended up placing an ad on American Singles and made it somewhat noticeable that I had my email on there just because I was not in the mood to pay $20.00 a month for something that I don't want my family to find out. At that time, I only had one checking account which my mom had access to the records to see what charges I made and all of that stuff. Anyways, I ended up one day getting an email from Robb who saw my profile near the end of Feb and we began to chat up a bit.
I'm showing a pic of him on here so that everyone can see how he looks like now. Back to the story, I ended up responding to him and found him somewhat interesting. We had a few things in common like the fact that we're both in school, we're big fans of Lord of the Rings, and we were around the same age group. It was pretty interesting to talk to him over AIM and email. One day in March, I decided to give him my cell number so that we could start talking over the phone and see what happens from there. We would talk for sometime and it was nice to hear someone who kinda understood my situation of not being out to my family yet and afraid of what could happen. We would talk about different things and one day in April he asked me out. I said sure and asked him to pick me up at Triton since if he would pick me up at home, I would have some explaining to do. So I ended up telling my folks that I would be with my friends at school for a bit before going out and hanging out with them for most of the day when I was done with classes. Robb ended up driving to Triton and picked me up. I know my friends were nervous for me since they didn't know what to expect. Hell, I didn't know either here. So I ended up going with him afer my friends grilled him for a bit.
We drove out to Dekalb since he was going to NIU at the time getting his degree out there. When we got to campus, he gave me a bit of a tour of where everything was at and also showed me around campus giving me some of his stories of Dekalb. He even told me about the haunted library that he worked at which made me seem a bit interested in him. After the campus tour, we went to eat at a Mexican restaurant where we talked. He asked me about school and I pretty much told him the story that I was telling just about everyone since I was ashamed to admit that I failed [which is that I got sick and as such headed back home after a year to get a bit better]. On the drive back home since it was getting a bit dark, we kissed for the first time and I knew then that I was no longer in the middle but more towards the gay side. As we got closer to home, we ended up going to a park right near my place for a bit more of making out before he dropped me off and headed back to Dekalb.
It was something that I liked a lot and decided to meet up with him again a few weeks later. We did go out and had a nice meal which followed with some making out too. It was after that second date that we made it official that we were dating and became a couple. I recall on the third date which happened in late May, early June that we went to his home in Mokena and he showed me around the area for a bit before taking me to his home where I got to meet his dad. I liked his dad a lot since he was very nice and welcomed me into his home. After sometime of eating there with his dad and watching movies, we were making out and slowly clothes were coming off until we were in our undies. I recall that at this time, he was about to take off my undies when I told him to hold it there since I was a bit uncomfortable. He was so apologetic about that since he forgot I was still new to all of this. That made me like him even more. We kept making out and laid in his bed in our undies til it was time for me to head back home.
I thought things were great and even on the 4th of July, he picked me up to take me to a fireworks display in Joliet with him and his friends. I enjoyed it completely since before we went there, we went to his place and we were completely naked in his bed. I thought that it was right since I was starting to come out of my shell more and more here. We even ended up sucking each other off for a good while. I even recalled talking to him about trying anal sex one time since we were doing good. So I thought things were great.
Well, the middle of July came and I got my acceptance letter from Champaign saying that I was able to come back down after they reviewed my transcripts at Triton and read my letter. I was really excited that it was happening that I told Robb about it. I even then decided to tell him the truth and confess to him that the story I told him was a lie since I was afraid of admitting to myself that I failed and that I wanted him to know what really happened. His response was not what I was hoping for here. Instead of saying something like "I am a bit upset with you about you keeping this from me yet I understand why you did it. Nothing is going to change my mind about you.", he ended up writing an email to me breaking up with me saying that it was over. I felt so shattered since I was starting to accept my mistake and he ended up making me so very low here.
I tried to talk to him a few days later but he made up his mind and just like that the relationship died. I know that in the following months I kept in some contact with him as he began to date a guy at school which we soon broke contact completely. I know I have him as a friend on Facebook and Myspace right now but I am never sure if I will really talk to him or if he will talk to me. I know I do owe him thanks for helping me start to break out of my gay shell and start walking in the doors of the gay world but in a lot of ways, I owe a greater deal of thanks to Justin, my next ex and one of my closest best friends that I have in my life along with Bruce (another ex). Those two you will learn later on in this life story that I am writing here.
So as such, Act 5 is now complete and the curtain drops on this part of my story. Act 6 will pretty much contain a lot of details as to my second trip to Champaign, my relationship with Justin, and a few other things that I think I can add on here. It will also contain the information as to the outcome from that semester at school and also what I dealt with after everything transpired. So stay tuned for the next part here all.
